Home Again

I have to admit I got really lazy with this blog, and I’m not sure why. I think there was just so much going on that I didn’t have time to process and write about all the stuff that was going on. I went to Cambodia, Vietnam, southern Thailand for a beach holiday and I was all over Bangkok nearly everyday (a city I grew to love so much).

Heading home made me really sad and I knew I’d miss the excitement, the people (especially the women) and the weather. I’m glad to be back with my family, but I still think of all the stimulation I got in Thailand compared to Upstate New York. Still, as we drove from New York City to South Glens Falls, I remembered how beautiful my home area can be with the snow, the mountains the old-fashioned houses. I didn’t realize it, but I really did miss it.

Next on my agenda is a trip to South America for a month sometime in late spring. Thanks for reading.

Last Oswegonian Column

The Oswegonian, my campus paper, is going on break until next semester. Here's the last column I wrote for them.

Getting Around in Thailand

There’s a reason why Thai taxi drivers have shrines on their dashboards. The Buddha figurines and lotus flowers are believed to protect against the drivers’ death-defying maneuvers. Two lane highways are turned into three due to chaotic stream of aggressive traffic. It’s not even that rare to get in a soup-ed up cab, complete with a turbo and custom designed steering wheels. It seems like The Fast and the Furious was a hit here. One particularly ballsy driver would rub an amulet whenever he’d make a move. In a half hour taxi ride, he rubbed the amulet at least a dozen times.

Taking a taxi is the quickest way to get around Thailand, barring horrendous traffic jams, but taxis can be found anywhere in the world. The Kingdom of Thailand has several unique modes of transportation that prove much more exciting, although not as practical.

The most prevalent vehicles in tourist areas are the tuk tuks. These hellish contraptions are essentially three-wheeled rickshaws with no windows. They spew out black smoke and the roofs make it impossible to see all the surroundings. Still, this is the transport of choice for most tourists and the drivers do their best to take advantage of the naïve farangs (foreigners). Any price that the driver says should immediately be cut in half through the art of haggling. Don’t stop at his “friend’s” shop, which pay the driver a commission for tourists being carted to their business. One trademark of the tuk tuk driver is the questionable things he offers. He (I have yet to see a woman driver) begins asking a passerby if they want a tuk tuk ride, and the answer is usually no. Next, he asks if they want to go to a massage parlor. When that fails, he casually offers “boom boom.” I wonder how many people go for that offer.

A relaxing way to get around Bangkok is the express boats floating on the Chao Praya. About 50 cents can get a person from the northern end of town to the Sky Train connection in the south. The temples along the ride are breathtaking. The dirty brown water and the river-front shacks are not.

Outside of Bangkok, taxis and public buses are almost impossible to find. Instead, songtaews take their place. Think of these as redneck taxis. Two benches are set up behind a covered pick-up truck, and anybody can hop on. The most intimidating aspect is the fares. You don’t pay until you reach the destination, but the fare depends on how many people get on the songtaew during the trip. If several people get on, the fare reduced. It’s an interesting approach, but it makes getting to the proper destination require some luck and patience.

Finally, there are the motorcycle taxis, which might as well be called kamikazes. Stick your knees in while riding on the back of the motorbike because the drivers come inches from other cars. The motorcycle lane is pretty much in-between all the other cars, and so far I’ve seen one casualty, in addition to some minor accidents. Still, the thrill of the ride and the cheap price makes it my main way of getting around. The only time I feel Asian is when I’m sitting on a motorcycle in my school uniform. At all other times I’m just another farang.

Top of the World

An insect larva tastes as horrid as it sounds. Matt and I were in Chiang Mai (in the far north) and signed up for a 2 day, 1 night jungle trek. The first thing our group of eight did was stop at a market. I stocked up on delicious sticky rice with custard and then I saw the insect food stall. There were crickets, beetles and the larvae. I picked the larvae because it looked the least disgusting and it didn’t have creepy eyes like the other choices.

When I first put it in my mouth after much hesitation it wasn’t that bad. When I bit it, the goo burst all over the inside of my mouth. The only way to describe the flavor was that it tasted as bad as insect larvae looks. I ate another just to confirm its vileness, and it wasn’t any better. The sweet sticky rice got rid of the taste. Nobody in my trekking group wanted the rest of the larvae. Even the tour guide, Rony, said they were disgusting and refused my offer.

We rode from the city of Chiang Mai to Doi Inthanon National Park in a songthaew. If you’re not familiar with these contraptions, think of them as redneck taxis. Two rows of benches are lined up in the back of a covered pickup truck. These serve as the main mode of public transportation in most of Thailand. Our tour guide’s truck had a Bob Marley banner on the front, which summed up his pleasantly insane personality quite nicely (more on that later).

We arrived at an elephant camp where we were greeted by several pachyderms managed by members of the Karen hill tribe. Matt rode with a cool British guy, two Spanish guys rode on another, while a nice German couple rode a third elephant. The elephants had small benches for two people strapped on their back, and a Dutch couple rode on the biggest elephant. That means I didn’t get to seat and had to sit on this huge elephant’s neck. It was a terrifying experience due to the sudden jolts and the disobedient nature of the male elephant, but I quickly grew to love it. I felt a unique connection as my legs rested behind his neck and we walked on narrow ledges overlooking deadly cliffs.

After, all of us rode a crazy zip-line-carrying-a-cage device over the river and began what constituting the bulk of the trip: ol’ fashioned hiking. This is where Rony’s quirky personality came through. He was a hilarious guy that was always telling jokes, usually involving Thailand’s famous ladyboys. He also boasted to Matt about his many sexual conquests, which I won’t get into now. Matt will probably talk about that in his blog. We hiked for a good several hours and the landscape was breathtaking. Bangkok is mostly flat, but this region was full of untamed wilderness and misty mountains. In the distance, some hill tribe villages were visible. After the exhausting amount of foreigners in Chiang Mai, this unspoiled beauty was one of my favorite sights I’ve seen in Thailand.

Eventually we reached the top, where the village and our home (a bamboo hut) were. We were all worn out after a somewhat arduous trek and felt great to be done hiking for the day. The villagers weren’t exactly cut off from the world. Despite their meager bamboo homes, they have some TV access thanks to new solar energy panels. A lot of the kids had Pokemon t-shirts. Still, their access to the outside world is limited. Most didn’t even speak Thai, let alone English.

I played a pick-up game of soccer with a bunch of hill tribe children. These small kids were fast, and I got the feeling that the only TV they watch is soccer. They could speak English when it came to penalties and shouting out the score. Running around and dribbling the ball with these kids was amazing, especially considering the beautiful atmosphere. We were surrounded by mountains and the sun shined down on us. I’m convinced that soccer can unite the world. So many people I’ve met, no matter what nationality, ask me what teams I like. If only Americans can watch more soccer. World peace would be achieved in no time.

Sleeping in the bamboo hut on the floor wasn’t as pleasant as the soccer game. We had mosquito nets and a bunch of blankets to combat the surprising cold, but the floor was hard and creaky. At 2 a.m., the entire rooster population of the village decided to perform in a chorus of ear-splitting shrieks. They didn’t stop all night. Fortunately, the breakfast was good and I was plenty excited to continue the trek.

The conditions in the morning were horrid. Hard rain plus a steep downward muddy path isn’t exactly ideal, and the rushing stream/river that we had to cross at least ten times makes things even more difficult. I came dangerously close to falling in and Wadleigh busted his knee up after falling on a rock. The best part was an enormous waterfall that we all waded in. The water was fierce and cold, but we all swam around for 30 minutes. After more hiking (in Wadleigh’s case it was more of hobbling), we did some whitewater rafting, floating down a lazy bamboo raft and then came back to Chiang Mai in an crowded and freezing songthaew. The conditions weren’t ever luxurious, but it was the best $40 I’ve spent in a long time.

Island Life

Update: I now have pictures of the island.

We think the guy that set up our boat trip to Ko Si Chang was a gangster. When we arrived at the pier at about 10:00 p.m., the last ferry had left and we were desperate to make it to the island that night. Big Justin refused to even consider staying on the mainland for the night. The gangster, with unkempt hair and a pompous authority, offered us a ride for 2,000 baht, or 60 dollars.

“All these boats mine,” he said as he pointed to a dozen speedboats as if he were a king.

Big Justin, Wadleigh, Canadian Justin and I refused to split such a ridiculous cost, so we tried communicated with the dozens of fishermen on their boats. We flashed 500 baht and told them our destination, and the fishermen were definitely interested. They kept glancing nervously at the speed boat guy. They looked terrified of him. We haggled fruitlessly for 15 minutes before one of the speed boat guys’ lackeys told us they found a boat for 1000 baht. We decided to go for it.

The possible gangster wanted his money right then, but we didn’t trust this slick-looking man. Fortunately, he thought it was acceptable to let us pay half now and half later. The four of us hopped on top of a slow-moving ferry and hoped that we wouldn’t be killed. Forty minutes later we arrived on the island after being driven through gentle waves, fierce darkness and dozens of large freighters. We were still alive.

Ko Si Chang isn’t the same place as Ko Chang, which I went to a couple weeks ago. It’s only a couple hours from Bangkok, and unlike Ko Chang, it isn’t too developed with tourism. There’s only one really nice beach, and there isn’t much of a night life. Still, the atmosphere and cultural sights are the main reason people go. The island seems mostly under the radar to most farangs, although there were a handful on the island.

There are cliffs and mountains all over the island, whether on land or leading into the tumultuous ocean water. The perfect water and vibrant plant life is so photogenic, as are some of the main sights of the island. The sprawling Wat Tham Yai Prik is built on a large hill, and there are also some caves used for meditation. An adorable nun gave us a tour and spoke excellent English. Canadian Justin is a Buddhist and already knew lots of stuff she was explaining to us, but I really appreciated all the things she taught us. I always felt terribly out of place whenever I visit a temple, although not so much anymore. Another great attraction was King Rama V’s old palace. The palace grounds are enormous and built on hills overlooking the ocean.

One of the most stunning places wasn’t even mentioned in any guide books. Next to a Buddha statue on a lonely, steep road was a somewhat obscured gate welcoming visitors. It must have been a small monastery because we saw some monk robes, but no monks. It was beautifully quiet, and the whole place was built under trees. When in Thailand, shade is a precious commodity. There was a short path that led to a steep cliff overlooking the entire island, and on the other end of the path was a stunning cave with a Buddha statue inside. The only living thing we saw in this place was an enormous monkey. I’m ashamed to admit it, but that was the first monkey I’ve seen in Thailand. They’re more elusive than I thought they were.

What we saw of the island life seemed really pleasant. We drank with some sketchy-looking yet friendly Thais in our bungalow, and as usual, we enjoyed renting motorbikes to get around the 5 kilometer long island. One night, Wadleigh went to the convenience store and received an interesting offer. Two ladyboys were sitting outside and as Wadleigh was paying for his food, their friend asked “sex?” to which Wadleigh replied “peanuts?” From what he told me, they seemed disappointed. After spending two weekends on different islands, I wonder if I’d be able to live someplace like that. Sometimes I honestly think I could.

The King and I

Thailand isn’t just a country- it’s also a Kingdom. The Royal Family, particularly His Majesty the King and his wife, are institutions of Thailand. The King’s real name is Bhumibol Adulyadej, and he also goes by His Majesty the King and Rama IX. Everywhere in the country there are signs of the people’s love for him and his family. On Monday, the crowds of people become seas of yellow, which is the King’s color. Many men wear lavish gold necklaces with the image of the king and a good majority of vehicles have window stickers expressing their love for him. Photos adorn practically every shop.

In my Thai Language and Culture class we had a discussion about Thai people and the King. The professor, a young Thai lady, said that the King is seen as the center of the country, and also the father. It’s no coincidence that Father’s Day and Mother’s Day in Thailand fall on the King and Queen’s birthdays. Since he is the father of the country, insulting him is seen as insulting the entire country. Every Thai resource I found before my departure specifically said not to insult the king. However, I’m fairly certain that there are laws with harsh penalties enforcing this taboo.

I was a little disappointed when I heard that the love for the King isn’t exactly 100% natural due to the law enforcement, but it’s still easy to be moved by all the adoration for the king. Book stores sell CDs of jazz music composed by the king, which he says to do to show his love for the people. Although he rarely interferes with politics, he does so in the time of crisis in support of the common people.

By far the most touching tribute is at the cinema. After half an hour of commercials that begin when the film should be actually starting, a short film on the king begins. Everyone in the crowd rises, and then a beautiful orchestra piece with a choir begins. Pictures of the king hung up in all aspects of Thai life, from country homes to city stores, are shown. We see the King as a photographer, newly crowned at the age of 23 and recent photos of him approaching his 80^th birthday, which is this December 5^th. At the end of the short film, the crowd nods their head in respect. It’s impossible not to be moved, but the following loud commercial which advertises an energy drink takes away from the effect.

Birthday Parties

Tuesday was my birthday (22 years old), and it was the first one I’ve ever spent abroad. On the 25^th, Wadleigh took me out to eat at the reasonably nice restaurant up the street. That’s where the drama unfolded.

Wadleigh was full already, so he ordered some fried rice, which is usually not enormous in size. At this place, things were different. His plate was almost overflowing with rice and chicken. After just a few huge spoonfuls he couldn’t take another bite, and the pile of rice remained. I ate through my pad Thai, and soon, the staff began to look at Wadleigh and whisper. Several of them began pointing and he began to feel very awkward.

A few minutes later, a lady came out and spoke in English.

“Is everything ok?” she asked.

“Yes, this is great, but I am too full,” said Wadleigh, gesturing to his stomach.

“Did we give wrong food?”

“No, no, this is great.” At this point, nearly everyone in the crowded restaurant was staring.

“If something wrong then tell us.”

“No, it’s great, I just ate too much. Too much food,” he said while expressing with his hands the “too much food.”

She was hesitant, but satisfied with this answer, and bagged up the food to go. We awkwardly left.

The thing that I like a lot about a birthday in Thailand is that everyone in the house wishes me a happy birthday and whatnot, and then when I’m going to bed, all my friends from the States are just starting to wish me a happy birthday. Two days for the price of one.

I also had a third birthday on Thursday, when I went out with a bunch of people from this and the other international house to celebrate properly. We went to this upscale mall with a bowling alley and karaoke. I got some free drinks, and then my German friend Stephan won an entire case of beer for getting the highest score of the alley for that hour- a meager 140. I guess some Thais aren’t that serious about bowling. As the night went on, we all got obscenely drunk and went to a club in Bangkok, and things get hazy from that point on. Still, I had a great time despite somehow spending nearly $30.

My Oswegonian Column

To keep my writing sharp, I'm writing a column for The Oswegonian, the campus paper at SUNY Oswego. Here's my first piece, which was published last Friday. Some of the themes are stuff I already touched on, but hopefully you'll find some new things interesting.
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If Johnson Hall can be considered a hotel, then my home in Thailand this semester can be considered a resort. Chaiyapruk Village, a gated community outside of Bangkok, has a swimming pool, a restaurant, and lavish houses that obviously belong to some of Thailand’s most prosperous. Security guards watch the entrances nonstop, and the international house also has its own security guard. I already feel myself getting spoiled by the lush greenery throughout the neighborhood and the free satellite television. Of course, things aren’t so glamorous outside the golden gates of Chaiyapruk Village.

Just a few hundred meters up the bumpy road is a line of shacks next to a polluted canal. With rusty roofs and floors of rotted wood, these aren’t exactly deluxe waterfront properties. Children swim in the stinking canal without a care in the world in order to beat the ridiculous heat. Across the road, a small development of shacks was built almost overnight in a field. A dozen laborers work here. One sorry sight is all the stray cats and dogs wandering not only in this area, but all over Thailand.

The division throughout the world between rich and poor isn’t breaking news, but the division in Bangkok is even clearer. Downtown Bangkok rivals New York City and Berlin in modernity. The towering shopping centers and pristine fountains almost made me forget about the horrific smog. In other parts of capital, small villages of hastily constructed slums can be seen from the powerfully air-conditioned elevated metro system.

With such conditions, the tourists’ money is necessary for many Thais. Visitors to the kingdom are always harassed to varying degrees to buy suits and random trinkets, in addition to some seedier things. Still, these hawkers aren’t the norm, and the average Thai is helpful and friendly despite the language barrier. Thailand is nicknamed the “Land of Smiles,” and although those smiles might be out of awkwardness and confusion of most foreigners, it’s still a great gesture that helps make things easier.

Getting around is quite possible, but there are some difficulties. First, the Thai script is incomprehensible to many foreigners, so even recognizing a location on a train timetable takes lots of work. The same problem arises on many menus, although it’s always a safe bet just to ask for Phad Thai. The national dish consists of noodles, fried eggs, chopped nuts and meat. The squid on a stick, cow intestines, and live snakes sold at the markets are much more intimidating than the noodle dishes. Another thing that takes getting used to are the seemingly out of control mopeds and the equally aggressive taxi cabs. Even though the traffic is awful, I still hear less angry horns than I do in New York City.

Despite the culture shock, it’s impossible not to appreciate the beauty of Thailand. Just ten minutes from Chaiyapruk Village is a 1200 acre Buddhist park with an enormous statute, thousands of fish and the occasional four foot lizard. The ancient ruins in the former capital city of Ayutthaya are also a sight to behold. The weather is sometimes unbearable, but there’s nowhere else I’d rather be this semester.

Motorbikes+ Muddy Jungle=Crash

On Thursday, Wadleigh and I went to Ko Chang for the weekend. This island, which is Thailand’s second biggest, is only a stone’s throw from Cambodia (assuming you can throw a stone a one hundred kilometers or so). The first week of class went well and all, but we just wanted to get out of the house and away from people that eat the food we leave in the fridge.

I could toss out generic words like “beautiful” or “paradise” to describe Ko Chang, but I think I’ll be a little more detailed. This island is pretty much only gorgeous green mountains and perfect sandy beaches. There’s only one road going around the island, and the path is treacherously steep and curvy. Some of the roads were also somewhat washed out from the monsoon the night before. Still, that didn’t stop Wadleigh and me from renting mopeds despite never riding one before. We drove fairly well, aside from the time when we explored the jungle and the road essentially turned into a muddy creek. I fell over and Wadleigh got his hog stuck, but it was all in good fun since there was no damage. Next time we’ll be more careful when riding motorbikes into a jungle.

We spent a lot of time on the beach, and although the weather was cool (by Thailand standards), the water was perfect. Making things even better was that whenever we were done, we could drive off on our motorbikes and explore the surroundings. We almost spent as much on gas as a one day rental fee(about 5 bucks), but it was so insanely cheap that it would have been much more expensive to take taxis around.

One of the sites away from the beach was the Klong Plu waterfall, which was a short motorbike ride and then hike from our beachside bungalow. Getting in costs 20 baht (65 cents) for Thai people, but a massive 400 baht ($12) for westerners. I don’t even think the Grand Canyon costs that much. It was a great site and all, but not a $12 site. We both ended up spending far too much money, especially on the transportation to and from the island, and at bar where we both found nice Thai girls to show us around the island. Wadleigh and I are both addicted to Chang beer, with a manly alcohol content of 6.4%. It makes all other beers look like wine coolers.

I loved how relaxing everything was, but I was quite happy to be home, where the showers are warm, the toilets work and the insects aren’t quite as frightening. On the cab ride back from the bus station, the cabbie proved himself to be a massive American football team and recited the names of a bunch of teams and players. He was all about the New York Giants.

The first day of class was sickening

Today was my first day of class at Mahidol University (pronounced Ma-he-don), although I only ended up going to one class. Last night I had a fever, yet I still stayed up until 3 a.m. to see how pathetically the New York Giants lost. At that point, I was feeling a little less feverish, albeit angry at the game, so I went to slept before my six hours of classes. Things weren’t fine when I woke up. I felt dizzy and nauseous, but after I threw up, I felt much better. I put on my uniform (black pants, white shirt, and a belt with an awesome gold buckle) and rode my bike to class. When I got there 15 minutes later, I was feeling terrible again.

I was in my Thai Language and Culture class and I was not right. I went to the international students’ office and they gave me the cab directions to the hospital. Wadleigh, being the great friend that he is, accompanied me. I was on the verge of throwing up again, yet the cabbie decided to take the long, expensive way there. As soon as we got out I found a bathroom, puked again, and I felt much better. I’m sure you’re all pleased to know about my puking schedule.

The hospital was really nice, with hordes of gorgeous Asian nurses that were extremely helpful (and did I mention beautiful?). I obtained a bunch of different drugs that made me feel even better. I even made it to Southeast Asian Arts, my last class.

The best part of the day was the trip back home. I let Wadleigh borrow my bike and I didn’t feel like walking back, so I got on the motorcycle taxi, a staple of Thailand. I’ve never been on anything with two wheels aside from a bike. I hopped on and held tight as the driver weaved in and out of traffic and road over bumps. I felt Asian for the first time as I sat in the back in my school boy uniform. It was a great end to a sickly day, although as you tell by the picture, I was still a mess.

Mortal Kombat

Ayutthaya is so gorgeous that the pictures don’t do justice to it. At first, it looks like a typical medium-sized Thai city, but once the bridge from the train station is crossed, the dozen or so massive ruins dominate the plain restaurants and guest houses. The temples, which date back to 1350, are unlike anything I’ve ever seen. I’ve been to more European churches than the Pope, but this was something else entirely. Dennis, Wadleigh, Kristine and I were all thoroughly impressed with the architecture. I was so impressed that I nearly stepped on a four foot lizard that was in the middle of the sidewalk. Wadleigh and I were too busy admiring the temples to even see it. It scared the shit out of us.

Another great part of the city was that although it’s definitely geared towards tourism, we weren’t hassled nearly as much as we are in Bangkok. Any group of white people there instantly become a target for all sorts of dubious sells. Everything here was just a little slower, and we were able to explore with no frustrations (aside from the ridiculous heat).

One of my goals in Thailand was to pose for fighting pictures in front of Wat Chai Watthanaram where the wonderfully cheesy Mortal Kombat was filmed. Thanks to my sparring buddy, Wadleigh, and the excellent photography of Dennis and Kristine, I was able to live that dream. It may have been borderline offensive and tacky, but that will be the only thing like that that I do here…I hope.

The trip to Ayutthaya also marked my first tuk tuk ride. These noisy three-wheeled vehicles scurry around Bangkok like ants to food, while the passengers sit in the back. The ones in Ayutthaya were a little nicer than its Bangkok brothers, although it’s still a little scary to sit in the equivalent of a somewhat covered and cramped truck bed while the driver disregards numerous traffic laws. Still, it’s an experience worth having and it was a necessity to see the further temples.

We took the third class train back, which is also what we took there. The lack of air-conditioning for the two hour trip was a downer, but for 60 cents, I couldn’t complain at all. On the first train ride, we saw an Italian with a Thailand shirt and one of those touristy peasant hats. I may not be an expert on Thai culture, but that is just one thing you don’t do, unless you want to look like an idiot. Still, I’m ashamed to say I want one of those hats, although I don’t plan on wearing it in Thailand. That’s just too much.

Lost in Thailand and a Big Buddha

I’ve done a lot lately (almost too much) and I haven’t been keeping up with the blog. I’ll try to catch up now. On Monday, Dennis, Kristine and I went on an insane bike ride in the hopes of finding the Buddhamonthon park, which is near the university. We all saw it on some bus rides, and the vast greenery and large temple looked very inviting. Unfortunately, we took an extremely wrong turn and rode onto parts unknown. We rode down a busy highway, which we had to cross at one point, and then headed to the back roads. Beautiful dragon fruit trees and lotus gardens were at every turn. It was nice to see after the endless 7-11s that populate the main roads. The streets were far too narrow, but I’ve become accustomed to the no-holds-barred traffic.

We continued riding along until we came across a random temple, which had a massive market on the back. The thing about Thai markets is that they are unlike anything most Westerners have ever seen. I’ve seen live snakes, guys giving tattoos to people laying on the floor and fruit that I’ve never seen before in my life. This one was relatively tame, although the atmosphere with beautiful. The Chao Praya River ran through one side of the market, and there were plenty of tourist boats for local Thais and waterfront restaurants. Fish would surface every few seconds and then dip back in the muddy water. On the other side of the river were large shacks, where old ladies were washing their clothes in the passing water. Outside of the market, a large group of adorable puppies swarmed around me. The three of us ended up riding for hours and never found the park. Things were more successful the next day.

I found a map online and realized that instead of riding down the highway, we had to cross it immediately. It was just two minutes from the spot where I got lost before. Wadleigh, Dennis and I decided to head to the park on our sweet bikes (they were $63 with a basket and a second seat for a small Thai person). The park was an enormous 1200 acres and we were all grateful that we didn’t have to walk. It would have been nearly impossible to see the place on foot. At first, we were disappointed that the 16 meter Buddha statue was under construction and barely visible, but we found plenty of other things to look at.

The park itself was, for lack of a better word, beautiful. Everything was meticulously gardened and perfectly green. It looked like a painting. Water was everywhere, and we saw dozens of turtles, some 4-foot lizards and more fish than I have ever seen in my life. Some guy was just throwing fish food in the water and these cat fish would go crazy over it. There was also a museum, but just riding around left us exhausted. We left the park, crossed the busy highway, rode past far too many 7-11s and then relaxed in the pool.

I’ll try to catch up on a stunning day in Ayutthaya, the old capital, and my first full day in Bangkok some other time.

White in Thailand

Being a Catholic, middle class, white male, I never once had to worry about being a minority (unless being Polish counts). Of course, now all of that has changed. Aside from the two dozen farangs living with me in gated community on the outskirts of Bangkok, white people are pretty uncommon. When we walk to the bus, little kids get really excited and shout “hello” to us. Just yesterday, three teens were sitting on a porch and just laughing at pointing at us foreigners while saying “hello” and “goodbye” over and over again.

Over the last two days I went to the Pin Klao mall for essentials (a cell phone and a Nintendo DS charger). Wadleigh noticed today that he, our friend Dennis and I are the tallest people in the mall. We’re fairly tall in the States, but here in Krung Thep (Thailand), we’re freaks. Foreigners are typically the only people that wear shorts, which is especially baffling to us considering the obscene heat. Still, we managed to see a few farangs browsing around the stores. The mall rose 5 enormous floors, and half the shops sell cell phones. This is barely an exaggeration.

Being outside of Bangkok is far cry from the city, particularly around Khao San Road (featured in the film The Beach). This place is like a seedy Disney Land, where tourists flock and the natives try their best to make money. Nearly every tourist has dreadlocks, and streets are lined with tacky trinket places, tattoo parlors and cheap accommodation. The visitors outnumber the Thais, but after just a 15 minute cab ride, I become a minority again. If you want to be the center the attention, then Thailand is the place to be.

Muay Thai in Muong Thai (that means Thailand, I think)

Today, Wadleigh, me and Dennis (from Germany) went to see some muay thai at Lumpini Stadium. Outside the crowded entrance, some lady kept on trying to get us to buy ringside seats, but we weren’t having it. We wanted to sit in the cheap seats where hundreds of Thais would hopefully be screaming and betting like crazy. We weren’t disappointed.

The fights were intense and in every match somebody would bleed. The fighters would always knee each other in the stomach, and each time this happened, the packed crowd would scream the same word, which I think meant knee. The ringside seats were full of white people, but for a while, we were the only white people in the third class area. Fortunately, we didn’t have to worry about anybody stealing our wallets. All the muay thai fans would stay far away from us since we’re all tall and they couldn’t see over our big fat Western heads.

We only stayed for a few matches; each lasted around half an hour. It was, as Wadleigh said, “hotter than Thailand in here” and we were all exhausted. We got an incredibly fast and crazy taxi cab back home. It only took half an hour, which was quite a feat that had us on the edge of our seats as the cabbie served in and out of traffic at 120 kmh.

The muay thai fights were an awesome (yet overpriced) experience, and the meal we had right before was also something totally unique. It was a buffet full of raw food ranging from chicken to cow intestines to squid. You put the food you want on a plate and then cook it on a strange device on your table. We were all thoroughly confused, and the staff gave us tongs to help with the meat since we had no idea how to operate chop sticks. It was pretty embarrassing, although it was a humorous learning experience.

Bangkok is a beautifully chaotic place. The residents point and giggle when they see a group of white people walking outside the touristy places, but it’s never done in a mean way. Everyone seems so happy- even the old statues at the stunning Wat (temple) Pho complex are grinning. Khao San Road, where we all went immediately after landing, was also a curious sight. Here, the white people outnumber the Thai.

People are always yelling out to farangs (foreigners) to buy various things. These items can range from clothing to tuk tuk rides to shows where girls shoot ping-pong balls out of their vaginas. All the while, the heat is oppressively sticky. I haven’t even seen the sun due to overcast skies, but it is rough. Soon I’ll have to wear black pants as part of my university uniform. There’s just so much to see and absorb that it sometimes feels too daunting and incomprehensible.

Yesterday was my first full day here, and even though I only know a few phrases (thank you, I don’t want it, hello and cheers), I don’t feel frustrated by the language barrier. Thais are just so friendly. At an enormous open-air market where they were selling everything from Pringles to live water snakes, the group I was with was the only white people there. Still, people were extremely nice and pretty amused by our foreignness. Even better are the school girls that always giggle at us.

One thing I’m already in love with is the food, particularly the prices. I went wild on a chicken dish and pineapple shake that cost the equivalent $2.25. This was in a touristy place, too. A half kilo of spikey fruit was 35 cents, and a coconut to drink out of is 60 cents. I also received a $7 massage that lasted half an hour. It felt so good I didn’t even care it was a dude doing it.

Bangkok 8 by John Burdett

In preparation for my trip, I read Bangkok 8 by John Burdett. It's a thriller with a hardcore Buddhist cop, Detective Sonchai Jitpleecheep, as its narrator. To call the novel odd would be an understatement, but that doesn't make it any less brilliant. While a typical farang (foreign) detective would solve crimes by astute investigations and a trusty pistol, Sonchai discovers clues in meditation. The novel features transexuals, a women that shoots darts out of her vagina for a living and an American Marine murdered by dozens of snakes unleashed in his car. Everything is shown as relatively normal through the eyes of Sonchai, a bastard child raised in the brothels by his mom, a retired prostitute that takes online business courses through the Wall Street Journal.

The plot is intentionally disjointed, though it's the descriptions of Bangkok that interested me most. Drugged-up motorcycle taxis blast through the crowded streets at kamikaze speed. Police corruption isn't a problem: it's an accepted fact, and much of the money is donated to charity, which creates a bizarre circle of life. This is one of the things that FBI agent Kimberly Jones notices, and through this back-up character, some of Bangkok's frustrating and seemingly illogical customs look like something out Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.

The Bangkok shown in Bangkok 8 is full of foreigners looking for sex and squatters constantly drunk on rice wine. The author, a white man, notes in the beginning of the book that Bangkok is one of the great cities of the world and that "most visitors to the kingdom enjoy wonder vacations without coming across any evidence of sleaze at all." Of course, everything in the novel shouldn't be taken literally, but in just a few days, I can compare the pages to my first-hand experience.

Expectations

With less than a week to go until I land in Suvarnahumi International Airport in Bangkok, I’m not really sure what the next 4 months will be like. It’s hard to imagine that I’ll be in the Third World for the first time in my life, but I do have a couple expectations.

First, it is going to be nasty hot. I'm going to be sad and sweaty until I finally get used to it or things cool down when the monsoon season ends.

Second, I’m expecting absolute chaos in the city. The extreme heat combined with a free-for-all on the roads and crowded walkways should make rush hour in Warsaw look like Sunday traffic.

Third, the place I’m living at will be nice. There’s satellite TV (so I can watch American football), wireless internet, a swimming pool, security guards that salute the residents and a restaurant. It’s going to be quite nice after living in the less-than-luxurious Onondaga Hall at SUNY Oswego.

Of course, I’m also expecting tasty and cheap food, incredible beaches and awesome temples (such as Ayutthaya, where the award-winning Mortal Kombat was filmed). For the first time in my life, I am expecting an adventure unlike anything I’ve previously experienced.